Defense Attorney: Why not?Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!Defense Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”Defense Attorney: Did he take you?Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.Short on compliments of joevsr‎2 men in a bar.1st man, turning to his buddy, “How can I start to grow hair on my bald head?”2nd man, “I have found that if you stick your head between a woman’s legs, It will help” Saying this as he stroked his full beard.The following are compliments of squaddie117‎Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”“What can we do,” moaned the father, “He can’t go through life like that?”“Don’t worry,” said the. Right in front of his wife.She walked off in a huff.He looked at me like he was going to fuck me right there.My friend pulled me away from him.but he followed.She told him she needed to talk to me and would he excuse us.She told me her sister married a womanizer.She told me they were on the verge of a divorce.He was constantly looking at me.At one point he followed me into the house and cornered me in the kitchen.He was telling me how pretty and sexy I was.I was trying to be nice but he was making it hard.I had to practically push him out of my way.He was near me all day.As I was leaving he asked if i needed a ride home.Mistakenly I said no I only live a block down the street.The next day was Sunday.About 12 noon I had a knock at my door.I lived in a cheap apartment so there was no peep hole I had to open the door and there he was ,the brother -in-law. He walked right past me and was in before I could react.I asked him how he knew were i lived and he told me I told him.I didn't.I.
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